I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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