Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Pooping to opera.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
