What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
