I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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