NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
