This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
it's like iHOP with fire
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
