i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I need moral support for this bender
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
