She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
17 year olds will be the death of me.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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