so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
