After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
pray to the hookup gods
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
