he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
