If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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