Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
