I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize