Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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