I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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