I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
