he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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