I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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