mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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