Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
