It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
