I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
