Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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