I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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