Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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