can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
