So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
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