bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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