a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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