Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
