she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize