Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
