Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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