She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
