Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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