My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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