Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
