I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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