just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
