He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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