Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
