i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
