I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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