Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
