I would go down on you faster than GM stock
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Randomize
