thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
