it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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