Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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