thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
