Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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