Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
