theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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