4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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