Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
