Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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