First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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