I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
