Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
