my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
