Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize