Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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