jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Success! We fucked roommates!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
