I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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