When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
