i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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